


Memories

by Joacasbar



Category: No Fandom, Original Work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-30
Updated: 2016-03-30
Packaged: 2018-05-30 03:18:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6406513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Joacasbar/pseuds/Joacasbar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>the story of a girl which decides do kill herself. This is what she does before endind her life, and how she ends it up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Memories

She was just too tired to listen to others. Her head was killing her and she felt like dying. It was the best thought that she had on her mind currently and nothing felt better like the idea of feeling painless. Her body hurted so much. Her headache was making it hard to keep her eyes open. She was holding her teddy bear, a white teddy bear, that she had since ever, that was there since she could remenber. Her tears were making it hard to see what it was in front of her, all she could see was white. She felt like drowning. Her cheast hurt so badly that she just couldn't control herself, her breath, her heart, everything. She just wanted to say goodbye to everyone that she loved, and so she did. She grabbed her cellphone, and started calling all of her friends: her best friends, and just said goodbye to all of them, hang up, and blocked all of their numbers so they couldn't talk her after that. She made a post on her blog (which just had 10 viewers) saying how much she loved their support, how much she loved the fact that they were there for her, even without knowing her in real life. She knew what she was going to do, how to do it, and how she felt abt it. It was a selfish move, but she would be dead after it so, why care about that? Some people comment on her blog "you are such a selfish person; you shouldn't do that; you are just seeking for other attention", but honestly, she didn't give a fuck about it.

After saying goodbye to most people, she wrote a note that she would leave near her when her parents would find out her body. She wrote this:

" _I love you all. But I couldn't live like this any longer. I'm sorry for everything that I've done, but I hope that I've left you good memories. I wasn't the best person in the world, neither was the best daughter. I tryed to be the best, but it just was too much for me. I'm sorry for doing this to you but, we never were so close to each other. I'm leaving a note 'cause it is to hard for me to say goodbye to you face to face or even by text. I hope that this says all that you need to hear, all that you want to hear, and if it doesn't, I'm sorry._  
  
Goodbye, and thank you for taking care of me, for educating me, for showing me the difference between the right and wrong. You showed me that I could be happy, and how too, but, I'm just a coward, I'm just too weak to keep going. Bye ♥"

She wasn't crying when she finished writing this. She didn't felt anykind of pain while writing it. But she made a decision, and she was already more than half away to it. It was realy painfull, every moment had its own kind of pain, but she coudn't stop now. The only thing that ever stopped her was love, but she closed herself on her own world, alone. That was when she remenbered the previous words _"you are such a selfish person; you shouldn't do that; you are just seeking for other attention"_ , and it hurted, so much. She wasn't able to go back. She wished she could, but words are words. She knew that the note that she wrote dedicated to her parents was small, but she couldn't write more. Her heart was just dead. She couldn't feel anykind of love, connection. She felt alone in the world, and even when she saw the other people texts, even from the ones that she previously loved, from the ones which were able to make her feel something, from the ones which were able to make her panic by their own pain, weren't able to make her feel warmer. She knew that even a hug wouldn't help. Nothing would. She was a simple Zombie. Nothing more, nothing else.

So, she wrote on her blog:

" _I'm sorry for leaving you like this. I know that this is the worst way of saying thanks, and that it'll hurt. But I need to do it. Thank you for helping me, but my time here, alive, reached the end. Writing here most things that I felt, most things that killed me inside, and seeing your comments, your messages, helped me a lot, and helped me see the beauty in the world. But even the beauty in the world, in others, isn't able to keep me alive inside. Sorry, thank you all and, I wish you the best, goodbye ~♥"_

It felt good to write it. After this, she turned her pc off, along with her cellphone and other eletronic devices. She knew that her family was out, so she just went to have a knife. She turned on the water. She wanted her bathtub to get filled up, but before that, she would have same time. She knew that, so all that she wanted to do before that was to remenber her life, her friends, and why all got to that. She could see a few figures on her head, people that moments ago were her best friends now had no names, were nobody. Songs were meanless. She couldn't think. That was when she looked at her bathtub. It was full. She turned the water off, took off her clothes, holded the knife on her hand and said:

'I'm going to die. It'll be today. Please forget me, don't make me a funeral. "and I miss you, I miss you so much"' she started to cry. These last words hurted more then ever, and that was when she started to selfharm. It didn't hurt as much as her head. She was screaming while she was crying, it was all that she could do. She understood the pain that other felt so well. She tryed to control her breath, she didn't want to die in panic, but realy calm and relaxed. She made a few cuts on her legs, cheast and neck. Seeing the water turning into blood felt realy good. She started smiling.

'Finaly, they'll be happy. Finaly I wont be here to make others cry, it wont be my fault. I wont be able to make mistakes again, nothing.' She smiled even more. So she stabbed her stomach and she saw the blood coming out even faster. She looked to the ceiling, for so many time that she wasn't able to tell, until everything started to fade away and she heard a door.

'It's to late' she said. 'Goodbye' and all went blank.


End file.
